Saturday, June 14, 2008

OP....for about 5 minutes!

Okay so I know it's completely my fault but I'm bummin so I'm going to blame my husband...for now.

On my way home from work he asked if I was hungry and of course I was, I worked a closing shift, I'm always hungry after a closing shift as I eat my "dinner" at about 5 pm. I don't know about you, but I can't go from 5-11 or 12 without eating. That's too many hours! He told me that he'd made these delicious pork chops and parmesan noodles. I told him no because I had my sandwich and baked lays for dinner at work and I only had a few daily points left. I guessed I had four but when I got home and checked it was actually 6.5. Made me happy because I could easily share a bag of popcorn with the hubby and have a 100 cal cup of ice cream and be within my daily points.

Dun dun dun....

I open the fridge and there it is. The beautiful dinner my hubby made me. In the end I dipped 4 points into my FP. Not much but on a late night before WI it was a bad idea, and I know it. I knew it when I was eating the tasty deliciousness. Add to that I'd been on my feet far longer than I'm accustomed to in a workday since I'd gone in four hours earlier. Generally when I wake up at 6 am and weigh it's a little higher, I go back to bed until 8 and I'll have dropped a couple pounds from a loss of water retention I'm guessing. It worked this morning, sort of. I ended up not being able to go back to sleep.

Last Saturday I had a gain of .2 lbs. It was also TOM and I happen to retain lots of water during TOM. Today I had a loss of 2.8 lbs. Should be an excellent loss right? But at this rate there is no way I'll make my short term goal next month. I wanted to go home for my brother's wedding having lost 33 lbs. I'll be at a healthier 252 (compared to 285!), and I'd honestly be able to say that yes, I've lost weight, yes, I'm doing something good for myself. I don't know if I can do it now! That doesn't mean I won't try, but I have a feeling I'm going to be fiercely disappointed in myself if I don't make it.

I have five weeks left to reach this goal. Add to the fact that I'll feel better and look better, it also means I'll have lost 10% of my body weight. If you asked me at the beginning of March I'd have told you it would be impossible for it to happen at all, much less within a few months. Now I'm dying to reach my 10%/252lbs goal and I don't know if I'll make it by then. In order to hit it I'll need to lose 2.7 lbs/week. My average so far is 1.8lbs / week. This is not looking good folks. Not good at all.

Now here's the point where I I just give up the goal or strive even harder to reach it? It's so easy to just say, okay, I'm not giving up WW....just my short term goal. I'll get there when I get there, right? It's really easy. But this time I'm not walking away. I can't walk away. I don't know why this time it's so much more important to me but it is. This is my chance. I'm going to do it right! Wish me luck....


Melinda said...

I don't think you should walk away from your goal. I think you should keep trying and in the end if you haven't reached it then look back at how far you have come and how close you are to that goal.
You're doing great so far. Try doing more walking or exercise than normal and maybe that will help?
Good luck and keep telling yourself that you can do it.