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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Funny isn't it?

How quickly something happens and as insignificant it may seem it can damage any pride and progress you may have made.

Last night hubby was especially cranky. He had a few rounds at me that normally I would have jumped at the chance to fight back, we all know my temper, but somehow had me so stumped and hurt that I just couldn't. You see I didn't know then, nor do I know now, what it was that caused his toddler sized fits.

Then this morning I woke up in a mound of pain and just utterly feeling like shite that I decided I needed a sick day. I felt that maybe it were better if I didn't go to work with Ian, even moreso when I discovered TOM had made an early appearance and decided to kill me with cramps. Oh yeah, TMI, I don't give no shit. I'm a woman, it's just the way it goes.

I tried to stay in bed and just keep resting while I could as I knew that hubby knew I was staying home, but he refused to get out of bed and get my kidlet fed and ready for school so, as there's no rest for the wicked, I was up and taking care of business as usual. It kept crossing my mind that I should really get my Shred in, but I couldn't find the motivation. I'd even thought, hey I know I feel like shit but I should clean the house. It was the perfect opportunity. I got the whole day to myself so why not take advantage right? Right. I stayed in my jammers until an hour before I had to pick Tony up from school.

Today I feel like a failure. I feel like a loser. I know 80 percent of this is hormone-ays talking...but just for today, I lost.

I know tomorrow is a new day, I know tomorrow I can start over, but if I'm this loser-ish now, what's going to happen in December when Tammy and I do our Shred off? Will I flake all losery then too?

Fuckin fuck.

6 comments:

Fat Daddy said...

you know it's the hormones, dear. so you fucked up on one day...there's a whole lot more game to be played.

push out those doubts...and just move on. what else can u do?

TC said...

Duude! Sucky day for sure. :( S'alright though. :) You still rock in my books. And NO you will not flake because I won't flake and if you do, I will kick your ever' lovin' ass from there to Toronto. If I am in pain and suffering, SO TO SHALL YOU BE! And I say that with love. :)

Call me!

jo said...

Sounds like you took a much-needed mental health day. NO regrets--sometimes we need pajama days. Be thankful you were able to just hang, be comfortable. Don't beat yourself up.

starfish264 said...

I love that you have a support crew that are already in there above me to pick you up ... pay attention to them, they care and they're right. So you had one day feeling crap ... hormone's are a pain in the ass (or the uterus in this case), but they're not "you". You're aloud a day to feel crap and frankly it's good to pay attention to how your body's feeling. However, if you're anything like me, gentle exercise actually helps me feel better physically and emotionally when I hit the skids (I do mean gentle though), so next time, grab a walk if you can and some fresh air / head space.

Keep going - you're doing great.

Candice said...

You managed not to kill your husband after he pissed you off...

I'd say that's something to be proud of.

wildfluffysheep said...

what fat daddy said.

<3 <3 <<3
day like that are completely fucking horrid. chin up m'lovely. i was just about to email you telling you had to kick my arse back into gear! so now im kicking yours!

*kicks your butt*