Wednesday, May 27, 2009

well crap

So Monday night I went out for coffee with one of my girls and ended up pinching a nerve or pulling a muscle or something in my back. I ended up in tears that night because it hurt soooo bad. It's now two days later and I'm just starting to get a decent range of motion back. That's two days out of three I haven't been able to work out. And tomorrow I'm going to let it slide again as well because I want to be sure I don't screw it up worse.

I've also been eating like crap. Emotional eating. I think it started Monday morning. I've just been FEELING uber fat lately. I look in the mirror and all I see is fat and hate. I've been trying to force myself to find something, anything, that I do like...and I just can't. I think it's making me even more emotional by pushing myself to see the good as well as the bad, because I just feel the bad is so much more than the good. It sucks.

So I've been on the downslide of this rollercoaster for some time. I have GOT to find a way to start climbing back up before it gets too far. Any suggestions anyone?


Unknown said...

I don't know if I have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I've been there, I know how you feel.
You've come such a long way - I truly hope you can find your drive again, so that you can continue on the road to success...

Melissa said...

WOMAN! Get back on track! YOU CAN DO IT! Just are doing it with me! It will all be so worth it in the end.

Carlos said...

hang in there... maybe find some old too big clothes in your closet and try them on... you know feel good about what you have done so far...

wildfluffysheep said...

I just spent the last two weeks binging like my life depended on it. Today I just decided I was sick of feeling sorry for myself.

*hugs* The downslide of the rollercoaster is fucking hard to get off. But if I can do it, you can! However I am the WORST advice giver ever. I am probably not even explaining myself well at all. Gargh. Chin up, missus.x

Dina said...

I don't really have any suggestions. Maybe try to make a list of things you like? (I'm so NOT helpful!)

Sorry to hear about your back, that sucks! Hope you're feeling better!

Brady said...

Everyone has down days / weeks. The important thing is to get out of that funk you're in! I've been there, and it's a vicious cycle that you have to break out of.

The best advice I can give is sit down with pencil and paper and physcially write down a long term goal, a mid range goal, and a short term goal.

Make a weekly goal, and tell yourself that NO MATTER WHAT you are going to eat right and workout for one solid week and lose two pounds. No mistakes, no excuses. At the end of the week you will love yourself and want to do it again.

PS no offense, but the title of your blog, addressing yourself as "ugly" isn't helping you love yourself on a subconcious level.

Anonymous said...

bleghghgh I hope the self-hate leaves soon - it deserves no place in your life! Blegh!! Don't hang out with it too long, you've got way prettier thoughts that miss you ;)
And other than preaching things that I strive to live each day (and faily just as often) - I know how you feel. I honestly do. One day I'm chirping a song, then next day I'm dragging my leg.
Hope tomorrow is sunnier for you - inside and out :)