Thursday, April 1, 2010

No news is good news?


On Saturday I finally saw a change in my stagnant weight. Dun dun duuuuuuuuun...a drop of 2.2 lbs, what?! Hells yeah bitches! I've worked out so many days in a row now, I don't remember the last day that I didn't do something at all. Even if it's just a walk, or the lower intensity tae boxing, it's something!

And then, I had a rough day. Yeah today I got to go to the lady doctor. I know it's only once a year, blah blah blah suck it up buttercup, but these visits are always traumatic for me. It isn't just the uncomfortability and pain for me, it's the passing of the personal bubble. I've been sexually assaulted twice, raped once (and boy is that still hard for me to even admit or recognize), since I was 13. Since I need birth control I need to see the lady doctor, or she'd refuse and I'd be poppin out kidlets left right and thanks! Either way, I nearly work myself into a right panic/anxiety attack once the clothes are shed and I'm sittin bare assed waiting for the doc to come in. I always make the procedure worse than it needs to be.

Anyway...because of this I immediately went to the store after the appt, because oh how convenient it happened right around lunch time. I got pizza (at 6 pieces...yeah), donuts (one of those thank you), and a very small cheesecake that I split with hubster. My stomach is still sticking out and hurting. I deserve the pain. Seriously...where's my helmet baby cuz there's windows need lickin'!

Let's hope this doesn't completely destroy my week. Dinner? Cottage cheese and toast. Super light. Oh yes.


Alexia said...

Congrats on the loss! So sorry to hear about your sexual assault. But I'm glad to hear that make yourself go see your Dr.

I've only been to a gynecologist a couple times and it always makes me mildly depressed. I actually had an appointment a couple months ago, but since I'd just broken up with my boyfriend I couldn't make myself do it. I'm glad I'm not alone.

JewliaGoulia said...

Whoo hoo for the loss! I told you it would show up.

I am so sorry to hear about your past. You are very brave to share that part of your life with us.

Ummm. . . I can't lie, I've never been to the "lady" doctor. Right now I don't have health insurance and before I was WAY too scared to go. I know, I'm a horrible woman. :(


Tricia said...

I've never been either, Julia! Whew, glad I'm not the only one.

I hate for my boyfriend to even touch me, so I sure don't want someone else doing it. You're stronger than me, girlie. Sucks about all the bad shit...I think a lot of us can relate. Like, way too many of us.

Don't worry about the binge, you'll work it off. You're still awesome, remember?

Tony The Pink Panda said...

It's good to hear that you are getting right back on the bandwagon. Slip ups are just slip ups as long as you don't let them develop into something more.

Diana said...

Amber, I'm so sorry about the sexual molestations and rape. I never knew. I can't imagine how hard that must be to live with something like that. It's the worst violation against another human being. Makes me so sad you went through that (and makes me want to hunt down the guys and cut their weenies off).

I hate the GYN appointment too, so I always make all kinds of jokes with the doctor. Luckily, she has a sense of humor. I've been going every year since I was that's 36 years and 36 exams. OMG I'm old!

Anyway, you've just got laugh at the whole thing. Legs in stirrups, some strange woman poking around down there. Makes me laugh every time. For years I went to a male doctor. That was way creepier.

Great job on the loss, not so great on the emotional eating but hey, you had an excuse. You're back on track and that's all that matters. :)

TC said...

I so wanna hug your gyno-hating ass right now! I will save it for when I come visit in the summer. But you're getting a BIG one! :)

Anonymous said...

Great loss.

Shitty past.

Nuff said?

Kat said...

I hate the gynecologist as well. I cry every time. I end up looking like a complete idiot. I cannot relax, I cannot's horrible. And I have never been assaulted. I cannot imagine what it's like for you! Poor you...I think you deserved the pizza. And the donut.

Johnnyrt said...

Yes, very brave to share this with us. Life's one hell of a journey, eh? My mom always says, "better days ahead"