Saturday, December 11, 2010

doing what is not the norm

I need help. I'm seriously pleading for help here. I'm admitting it y'all, I can't do this alone. I saw 223.6 this morning. Every piece of disgusting unhealthy food I've shoved past my lips this past week has made me feel sick. Physically and emotionally.

This week we said goodbye to yet another family member. Ian's grandma's death has hit me much harder than I ever thought it would. I think part of it is just that she's the fifth beautiful family member to leave this earth since April. I can't say anymore goodbyes. I'm trying to keep myself together, but little by little I'm letting the overwhelming losses take over me and falling into old, bad habits. I'm isolating, internalizing, eating my way through.

The bright side of all this, I know what I'm doing. I've also come to a very quick realization that trying to do this alone just isn't working. So for those of you still reading my blathering....if you can find it in your heart, please. Someone help me.


Diana said...

Aw Amber, I'm so sorry. Losing family members like you have this past year is really hard.

At least you're aware of what's going on and sounds like you plan on getting back on track. Like you said, you know what to do, now you just have to do it.

Hang in there, I know you can do this!

Christine said...

Hello. You don't know me but I am reading your blathering.
Put down the food.
step away from the plate and come here.
You know what you are doing and you know it isn't what you want. I am assuming you want a long and healthy life (now imagine this voice is booming from somewhere above your head and not coming out of your comments box. lol)
Well, eating cheetos isn't going to cut it.
You have a new year coming up if you are lucky. As you have seen, no one is garaunteed tomorrow. Time will go by one way or the have to ask yourself "What do I want my life to stand for?" What do I want people to think of when they think of me? Stop for a second. Elizabeth Edwards was a grand woman..a lawyer, and advocate...and at the end what did the morons in the washington post blather about...the fact that she was overweight. Don't let "and She was fat' be an epitaph on your life.
Take your life and MAKE IT what you want it to be. Sit down, write down who you want to be and make a plan to get there.
Set a calorie cap you can live with, set an exercise plan you can do at least 5 days a week...walking for at least 30 hour would be better. and then do it. YOu are no namby pamby victim. You have a skull on your blog.
snap to.
Chris out.

Jane said...

I'm a lurker, too. I read CHristine's comment and I feel motivated by her! :) You can do this. It is hard, and it's ok to admit that (a lot) but it's not an excuse! We can do this!!! YOU CAN DO THIS.

Lyn said...

I am really sorry you are having such a rough time. Please don't give up! I know it is hard, but just keep on trying different things until something clicks for you. It may take time but it is worth it in the end. Keep trying! 2011 can be your year! Hugs.